Anchor and Lighthouses in Homeschooling

In many ways, homeschooling is like a journey. Sometimes it feels like a sea journey. There are times when the voyage is smooth while at other times it’s rough. Sometimes the journey is as clear as the daylight, but there are also times when it’s uncertain and as dark as the darkest night.

Sixteen years ago, we decided to homeschool our children in spite of lack of knowledge, resources and materials, in spite of zero moral support from family and friends, and non-existence of homeschool support group like our Lighthouse Homeschool Network (LHN) now.

What I want to share with you today are some of the lessons that Cathy and I have learned from our homeschooling journey, which I’m comparing to a sea voyage, and we as amateur sailors. As I do, I would like to focus on two important things, which I call mariner’s aids or tools that help provide a stable and safer homeschooling journey. The first tool is the anchor and the second one is the lighthouse.

As homeschoolers on a journey, we have a goal and a destiny. Of course, our ultimate goal as Christians in all and every endeavor, including homeschooling, is to give glory to God. We were created to show forth the beauty and majesty of our Lord and Creator who revealed Himself clearly in the person of His Son Jesus Christ. That’s our ultimate goal in everything – to honor him.

Now, how do we get there? It’s a life-long journey, you would say. And that’s true. And our homeschool journey is an important aspect of that lifelong journey.

What do we need in order to get there? Well, like traveling at sea, we need first of all, an anchor, “that which gives the [assurance] of stability or security, or a source of abiding confidence.” An anchor symbolizes strength and stability in seafaring especially in the midst of a storm.

In the Bible anchor is used figuratively of the hope that we have in the promises of God. Hebrews 6:19 says: We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. Well, in context, the promises of God pertain to the believers’ secured position in Christ which includes our redemption from and forgiveness of sin and the hope of entering God’s glorious presence.

In other words, our hope, our anchor, is securely fastened to our faithful and unchanging God who fulfills all His promises to His children. And the anchor that firmly connects us to God is our Lord Jesus Christ.

In Him, our hope, our position, cannot be moved or shipwrecked by the storms of life. That’s how strong our anchor is! That’s how stable and solid the rock which our anchor holds on to!

Thus, like the sailors that drop their anchor in the middle of the sea in order to provide stability for the ship, especially during the storm, we also fasten our hope, we fix our eyes on our Lord Jesus Christ, our anchor, who provides us with security and firmness, as Christ intercedes and connects us to God.

The only difference between the sailors’ anchor and ours is that while the sailors drop their anchor with the hope that it would hold on to something firm and sturdy under the sea we, however, thrust our anchor, by faith, upward to heaven, where our hope is fixed, even in Christ who ministers for us at the Father’s right hand. Christ is our hope of glory who provides for us security and stability in times of trouble. Christ does this for us through His unceasing intercession and through the constant ministry of His Spirit in our lives.

How does it relate to our homeschooling? Well, it’s through this. If our aim is to please Christ or to glorify God, our homeschooling materials and resources and activities must be grounded on something that help us achieve this aim. That means that our resources and materials and activities should be Biblically-based, Christ-centered, and God-pleasing.

There are a lot of teaching materials and resources available in the internet and the market today that will help our children achieve academic excellence and earn them scholarship in prestigious institutions of higher learning. But academic excellence must not be our ultimate aim in homeschooling. It must be subordinate to our main goal of knowing and pleasing Christ.

We may have children who will become academic elite, but if they lack humility, respect for authority and genuine concern for other people and the kingdom of Christ, their academic achievements will fail them eventually.

We want children who are not only academically competent but also spiritually mature and committed to help in accomplishing the Great Commission of Christ, which is to make faithful disciples from all corners of the earth.

I want to address our children here. Children, in your studies, aim for something that’s beyond the here and now. Anchor your effort in your studies to something bigger than this world. Aim at serving Christ and glorifying Christ in your studies now. Use the gifts and talents God has given you to serve Him and to serve others and you will know that your anchor, your effort, is holding on to something stable.

Now, boys and girls, how about the lighthouse? What is a lighthouse and what is its purpose? A lighthouse “is a tower with a bright light at the top, located at an important or dangerous place regarding navigation (or travel over water). The two main purposes of a lighthouse are to serve as a navigational aid and to warn boats of dangerous areas. It is like a traffic sign on the sea.”

Historians said that the first lighthouses were actually given by nature itself. Sailors sometimes used landmarks such as glowing volcanoes to guide them. In the ancient world, trading ships were eventually built enabling navigators to sail long distances to buy and sell goods. In the days of wooden ships with sails, the wind and waves could easily push them against the rocks and wreck them. And so, the need for lighthouses as warning signals arose.

In homeschooling, we need lighthouses. We need something, or someone, to guide us on our way and to warn us when we are heading at the wrong direction. I would like to share with you only two lighthouses in our own homeschooling experience.

First, we need counselors or mentors in homeschooling. Proverbs 11:14 says, “Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.” The Word of God encourages us to employ the wise counsel of others in our endeavors, and homeschooling is no exception. With many unknowns and many options in homeschooling, it is important that in our journey we have fellow voyagers and pilgrims who not only give us wise counsel but also encourage us when we are down and troubled.

That’s where we’ve seen the need to start a homeschool support group in 2009. Lighthouse Homeschool Network has been a great support group for our family here in Davao City and I encourage you to avail of the wisdom and experience of our fellow homeschoolers. To some of you maybe your church support group has been serving as a lighthouse as well.

Some families can do it all by themselves, but many of us opt to pull resources together. And for us the journey has been more enjoyable and pleasing with LHN. So thank you so much for all of you who have encouraged us and helped us in our own journey. We’ve gained a lot of friends and connections through LHN. We also have grown in our knowledge of homeschooling and Christian parenting through many of you. I hope that you will continue to keep your lights shining, your Christian virtues and values, to help our fellow travelers in homeschooling.

Another lighthouse that has been guiding our homeschooling – and this is very important – is of course the Word of God, the Bible. One of the most memorable times I have in homeschooling our children is to be able to read with them the Bible and to share with one another the things that we’re learning from it. Bible reading is an important lighthouse for homeschoolers.

Aside from the Bible, we’ve also read books together, either books that help us know God more, or books about Church Fathers, Christian theologians, missionaries, pastors, and even musicians in the past. These books have enriched not only our knowledge of God and Christ and the lives of believers in the past, but they also made our homeschooling experience enjoyable and exciting. Just reading books together enlightens a lot our way.

I know many of you, if not all of you are doing this already. But, boys and girls, isn’t it a lot of fun when mommy or daddy reads books aloud for us? Of course! Maybe, sometime we could have reading stories together as a support group. That’s something that we could probably include in our joint activities in the future.

Well, I could add some more ‘lighthouses’ that could guide our way in homeschooling but I think those two are important – support group and family time. Let us remember that our greater goal in homeschooling is to bring ourselves to a deeper understanding of Christ and a greater commitment to His kingship and lordship over us.

Ultimately, we want to glorify and honor God in everything we do, including our labor to bring up and teach our children in the ways of the Lord. May the Lord continue to give us the grace and the right motive to do this!

Progress of Civilization and God-Centered Learning

No civilization has advanced without education. Civilization can only be achieved and sustained by continuous learning. Education then is man's chief means of acquiring and teaching essential knowledge and skills that leads to progress. For progress to take place and continue, people must keep on learning and discovering truths that are yet to be known, and at the same time build on the knowledge that are already there. You stop learning and you end the possibility of progress.

One thing I observe though is that at every significant point in history where progress deeply impacts society in a good sense, people are learning and living a God-centered and gospel-motivated life rather than man-centered way of life. One example of this is the Victorian era (1837-1901) when England experienced tremendous progress and somehow influenced other countries as well. If one word could sum up Victorian England that would be morality. Victorians aspired to live moral lives in line with their understanding of the Holy Scriptures and their high standard enabled them to excel in literature, science, and industry in a way that is still admired today. That's why Victorian era is usually associated with progress and moral excellence.

I've read that when Queen Victoria in London entertained a chief from one of Britain's African colonies, he asked her the secret of England's greatness. Her majesty did not take him to the Tower of London and showed him the glittering crown jewels. She did not speak to him of the brilliant politicians who debated in Parliament. Instead she presented the chief with a Bible and said, "This is the secret of England's greatness." A prince from India, which is one of Britain's former colonies, also recognized this truth. He asked, "Where did the English-speaking people get all their intelligence and energy and cleverness and power?" "It is their Bible that gives these to them. And now they bring it to us and say, 'This is what raised us. Take it and raise yourselves.'"

Fulfilling the Great Commission as Ordinary Christians

When we think of the Great Commission we usually have in mind career missionaries going overseas or cross-culturally. Definitely that's an important part of the Great Commission. But not all will become full-time missionaries. Some will be stuck in the home taking care of their children or to some their aging parents. Some will be managing family business. A few might even do both. Still some will probably stay in their local churches serving for the rest of their lives. Does that mean that they can't fulfill the Great Commission?

Let's look at it this way. Yes, the Great Commission takes place cross-culturally and in faraway places as missionaries are sent out to preach the gospel, make disciples of Christ, and start a church. However, ordinarily it happens in our homes, our workplaces, in the church, at school, even in some unexpected places.

The Great Commission begins at home where Christian parents are patiently teaching and disciplining their children in the ways of the Lord, including doing cheerfully simple house chores. Disciple-making takes place at home where husbands and fathers lead their families in reading the Bible, in teaching their families the precious doctrines of the Christian faith, and in leading their wives and children in prayer. Remember that as believers our children also belong to the Lord. We consider them disciples also. They also need to be taught of the teachings of Christ until they, too, would profess faith in him.

Proper understanding of the Great Commission would also lead Christian single men and single women to seriously consider marriage with a fellow believer in the Lord in order to build a home where Christ is honored as Lord, where his Word is taught and obeyed, and where children are nurtured to believe and serve God.

The Great Commission also happens in the workplace where Christian professionals and employees bear witness to the grace of God in their words (evangelism) and their good deeds to their fellow workers. They are the light of Christ in the workplace bearing good works as testimonies to the power and presence of God in their lives.

The Great Commission is also being fulfilled in Christian schools where children are taught in every subject the truth about God not only as the great Creator and Lord of the universe but also as the Redeemer and Savior in the person and work of His Son Jesus Christ. So Christian teachers are also fulfilling the Great Commission in the workplace.

And of course, in the church, where everyone is being taught of the gospel and its implications in personal lives and in the life of the whole community of faith, the Great Commission also takes place. Our Reformed churches must always proclaim the gospel in the pulpit, in Sunday school classrooms, in catechism classes, and in the nursery. Every member of the church must be captured and saturated by the same good news of salvation so that each one and the whole body naturally bear the gospel-fruit of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, goodness, and self-control. We need the gospel not only to fulfill the Great Commission but also to live daily the Christian life bearing witness for Christ.

Trusting Christ, Our Redeemer

In our materialistic and narcissistic society, the world, the flesh, and the devil offer us daily with all kinds of things that are really appealing to our senses and base desires. Things such as food, sex, gadgets, money, power, and fame are really pleasurable, which makes these things powerful incentive to yield to temptation and sin.

But we know that these things and the pleasure that they give are fleeting and they leave us empty, guilty, and restless. In fact, these are substitutes to the things that are eternal and really matter. They are counterfeit gods peddled by false gospel teachers and hucksters of holiness who are motivated by greed and selfish ambitions.

Jesus Christ, however, offers to us the real thing that truly satisfies both our body and soul. He offers himself in his Word, the gospel of salvation. Those who believe him, those who accept him and his claim as the Christ who suffered, died and came back to life on behalf of his people, he offers pardon and peace through his redeeming work at the cross that reconciles sinners to God. Jesus Christ is the only Savior and Redeemer from sin and he's the only one who is able to deliver us from the enticement of sin. As we fix our eyes on him by faith he helps us in conquering every sin that easily entangles us.

When we lay our hands on Christ by faith, when we put our trust in him and repent from our sin, the Father owns us as his children and seals us with the Holy Spirit, 'who is the guarantee of our inheritance until we acquire possession of it, to the praise of [God's] glory' (Eph 1:14).

Life (including Homeschooling) Is All About God

My wife and I have been homeschooling our children for 16 years now. Homeschooling is not always fun but one of its blessings is that, as parents, we could spend a lot of time with our children and our children see us most of the time. They feel secure and they enjoy family time a lot. Yes, we want to build a close family, of course! However, we don’t want to build a family that is inherently toxic, in that, the family is the be all and end all, and everybody else out there is bad or unimportant. Some families are built that way. It’s me and the family! But that’s not life is all about!

The way to prevent that is to show our children with our own life and our own conversation that everything revolves around God and His glory. Remember that we are just one family among many that are trying to serve God around the world. Our children’s lives must be oriented toward this principle of “Soli Deo Gloria” (To God alone be the glory!). That’s important!

As homeschooling parents our lives are exposed to our children. They know a lot about us and they are greatly influenced by our character, habits, decisions, likes and dislikes. On the one hand, this is good because as we live out our faith, as we learn to obey God and follow the Lord Jesus Christ, not only in good times but also in bad times, our children will catch much of what we want them to learn from us, that is, that life, as a battle, must be lived coram Deo (in the face of God), by the grace and power of God, and for the glory of God. Our children must understand that we can’t live life on our own strength but must depend on God all the time. He alone gives us the grace and power to live a God-glorifying life.

Yet on the other hand, this is also scary especially when they see a lot of our hypocrisy and laziness and inconsistencies and anxieties and uncontrolled temper and other bad habits. It’s humiliating to see that as homeschoolers we see a lot of our sinfulness, bad tempers and laziness and lack of zeal in our children.

This is not of course a hopeless situation. We learn a lot from our mistakes and so we try to address the matter by talking to our children, confessing our sins and weaknesses to them and pointing them to the ultimate solution to our sin-problem and our perfect life-example of all, our Lord Jesus Christ.

So our children must learn and see from us – fathers and mothers – that the most important thing in their lives is to do what God wants us to do: to live for His glory and to serve and worship Him with gladness in their hearts. Worship is the most important thing. And the apex of all of that, at least in this life, is public worship – the gathering of God’s people in His presence every Lord’s Day. Corporate worship where God is greatly delighted in meeting with His people, renewing covenant with them and ministering to His saints, is the highest point of all our worship.

So our children must know from our lips, from our prayers and from our life-example so that when they go up to God’s house of worship this is the highlight of the week. This is a grand and glorious time of encounter with the Almighty God. And God is going to be speaking to us. That’s a great thing!

But they must also know that when they do school, every day and every class hour is to be lived to the glory of God. They are to use their mind to the very best of their abilities not just to get good grades to impress father and mother, so they can look through report card and say, “That was great son!”, but more so to use their mind and intellect to the best of their ability because they are to glorify God.

That's why we always need to impress this teaching to our children’s heart – that all of life is for the glory of God. It has to keep on going all their lives because there is every tendency in every man’s deceitful heart, and that includes our children’s heart, to reject this principle and to live for self.

So this is a battle – trying to move our children away from selfishness to God-centeredness. But when we persevere and God, by His grace, comes and works in and through our children then we begin to see the real fruits of homeschooling. They say something like this to us, “Papa (or Mama), is this the right thing for me to do? Will this be pleasing to God? I’m not really sure if this glorifies God.”

When we hear our children say things like this, we could really thank the Lord for His gracious work in our children’s lives. That’s joy in every parent’s heart – when he hears his children say something like, “Papa, I want to live my life for the glory of God!”

Ultimately you and I do not matter that much to it, that we get what we want or we get our way. We all live for the glory of God. We leave fruits behind for God’s glory. And when we remain faithful to that calling we could hear Him say in that great day, “Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.” That’s everything! That’s fulfilling!


(Thanks to all my fellow homeschoolers here and there, as well as to many speakers and authors on family life, marriage, childrearing and homeschooling who have taught me a lot and helped me put this article together.)

God's Solution to Our "Word" Problem

Pilipinas kong mahal (My beloved, Philippines): Three decades after EDSA Revolution we could have expected more honest and faithful politicians and public servants flood our country today. But that’s not the case. Not even in our churches: Evangelical Protestantism was started in 1898 in the Philippines. After 118 years of presence in the country we could have expected more solid, strong and faithful gospel-centered churches that are forerunners and pillars of truth. But our overall impact to the community and society as bearers and preachers of the truth and the gospel of Christ is not that much. Mas dumami pa yata ang bisyo kaysa mabuting asal at mas dumami pa ang masasamang tao kay sa mababait sa bansa (It seems like vices are more rampant than virtues and more wicked people thrive than good ones in our nation). Our country is crowded with dishonest, deceptive, immoral, and lawless people.

What’s the evidence? All you need to do is to listen to how people talk nowadays! Watch the news on TV or read it online in your FB newsfeed or in the paper and you’ll see. Nakaka-inis na! (It's very annoying!)

The kind of people that thrive in our world today is described in Psalm 12:2: "Everyone utters lies to his neighbor; with flattering lips and a double heart they speak." Three character traits are given about them: (1) they tell a lie, (2) they flatter, and (3) they deceive. The psalmist complains that people’s conversation is full of empty talk, smooth talk, and double talk, as one scholar put it. This is the analysis of the problem of society then from the perspective of heaven. In God's eyes our problem of corruption, rampant crime, increasing broken marriages and families, church fights and splits, and many other symptoms of disintegrating society are all related to our misuse or abuse of the tongue.

What is heaven's prescription in addressing this problem? Psalm 12:6: "The words of the Lord are pure words, like silver refined in a furnace on the ground, purified seven times."

This is remarkable! On the one hand, our society’s problem can be diagnosed as disregard for the human word, while on the other hand, the only remedy turns out to be a high regard for the Word of the Lord which He himself promises to keep and preserve from generation to generation (v.7).

Many people who do not want to be told by the truth have many times attempted to eradicate the Bible in society. Liars and double-talkers do not want the Bible. If they do they only pay lip service to the Bible. Why? The written Word of God exposes their darkness.

One reason why churches do not have maximum impact in society today is because churches have disregarded the Bible and its essential teachings. Liberalism, tolerance, pragmatism, and emphasis on personal experience have been the pursuit of many congregations today. The essential teachings of God’s Word are now set aside by many. There’s no more teaching of sin and salvation in Jesus Christ alone. It's all salvation without reference to the heinousness of sin. No more teaching of holiness and justice of God which are the very character of God that sin and wickedness offend.

The emphasis on the love of God at the expense of the holiness and justice of God has been one of the causes of the church's impotence in our society today. The churches just want to fall in love with and want to be embraced by the world with her tolerance of evil in society. But God calls us to fight the world's lies and deception with the full armor of God which includes the belt of truth and the sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God.

And that Word, mind you, is sure, true, and flawless. Anyone learning and living by it will soon have a new tongue along with a clean heart and mind, so that his “yes” may really, perhaps even painfully, be “yes,” and his “no” be genuinely “no.”

If you are always struggling to keep your word or promise because of the pressure around you, despair no longer. God promises to deliver you if you desperately call upon Him to save you from your perennial "word" problem. On your behalf and for your sake, God has sent His Word, His beloved Son, who became flesh and dwelt among us. He is the Way, the TRUTH, and the life. He is the ULTIMATE solution to your problem of lying lips and double tongue. He not only demonstrated the love of God toward us liars and deceivers, He also showed the justice of God upon our sin by identifying with us and paying for the penalty of our sin in His death as our representative and substitute.

Christ did this in our behalf so that we who were conceived and born in sin, by faith in him, will be set free from the power and penalty of sin. Then we who have been redeemed and cleansed by the Word of God can live freely in the truth and in accordance to His Word.

So God's prescribed solution to our "word" problem is not by disregarding or softening His holy Word but by upholding it and keeping it diligently and faithfully in spite of the world's and the devil's opposition to it.

(Thanks to Dr. Nelson Kloosterman for his insightful Bible study on Psalm 12 in his "Walking About Zion: Singing of Christ's Church in the Psalms". I've used some of his thoughts in this post.)

Love and Respect in Marriage

(A message at Nexon and Charibelle Laborte's wedding based on Ephesians 5:31-33)

For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband. ~ Ephesians 5:31-33

I like pictures. They help me understand and see better big and complicated things. Pictures especially help us focus on something it portrays. And marriage is like that. Marriage is a picture – a picture of a relationship. And that relationship is between Christ and the church – His body, His people whom He bought back from sin and death by His death. The church is the bride of Christ which He loves so much and for which He willingly gave himself up.

The church is composed of people whom Christ loves and owns as His. He gathers them from all nations of the world, provides for them and protects them. The apostle Paul says that Christ did all of this for His church “[t]hat he might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that he might present her to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish”(Ephesians 5:26-27).

And in response to that love and care that Christ shows to His church, the church as His bride is called to submit to Christ and to respect Christ. This really life is all about as Christians, as people belonging to the Lord Jesus.

And marriage is supposed to portray this relationship of Christ and the church. Marriage is to picture the unity and inseparability of Christ and the church. This kind of unity is so emphasized in the Scripture in such a way that whoever persecutes or hates the church is really persecuting Christ.

Before his conversion Paul thought that in persecuting the church he was doing God a favor. But when Christ confronted him on the road to Damascus, Christ told him that he was not just persecuting the church but the risen Christ who is the head and husband of the church (Acts 9:4-5).

What this all mean is that, our marriages, including Nexon’s and Charibelle’s, are pictures intended to show the unity, the oneness of Christ and the church. Nexon and Charibelle, this is very important.

Now not all pictures of course are the same. There are some pictures that portray the subjects very clearly, and they usually end up being posted in our Facebook account. And there are also pictures that are blurry and looking at them just gives us pain in our eyes.

It’s the same thing with marriage. There are some marriages that really portray and testify to the unity and harmony of Christ and the church. And of course there are marriages that are not so good in portraying the loveliness of Christ and His church.

I’d like to dwell on how to beautify our marriages in such a way that God, the author and sustainer of marriage, will be pleased and glorified. And I’d like to do that by looking at the essential responsibility of the husband and the wife in marriage.

In summarizing the responsibility of the husband as the head of the marriage relationship and as the Christ-figure in marriage, the apostle Paul says that husbands is to LOVE his wife as himself. Love is the overarching responsibility of the husband to his wife (v.33).

The wife’s basic responsibility to her husband, however, is RESPECT or reverence. So love and respect summarize the husband-wife responsibility in marriage. The husband loves his wife as Christ loves the church; the wife respects her husband as the church does to Christ.

From this we discern that wives need love from their husband, and husbands need respect from their wives. When husbands faithfully love their wives, they are doing their God-given responsibility and God is pleased. And when wives are respecting their husbands, they are doing their God-given duty and are glorifying God.

When wives are well loved, they usually respect their husband more and more. When husbands are well respected, they usually love their wives and care for their wives more and more. Lack of love and respect in marriage, of course, leads to disaster and many troubles.

So how does this ‘love and respect’ model portray Christ and the church in practical terms?

Let me suggest a few steps. I would like to begin by addressing Nexon, and all the husbands here. First, Nexon, to show your love to Charibelle, as Christ loves the church, you should aim to be close to her. She should feel close to you. You do this my holding her hand, hugging or kissing her, and being affectionate and loving to her without sexual intention.

Second, not only your closeness expresses your love to Charibelle, but also your openness. When you share your feelings to her and not being shy or afraid to tell her your concerns and problems, she will feel loved. Also if you talk to her without harshness or grunting she will really feel that you love her.

Third, let me suggest that when there’s some misunderstanding between the two of you, you be the first to go to her and settle the matter and make peace with her. Don’t be afraid to admit that you are wrong. Although it’s hard for us to do, yet that’s one of the ways wives are feel loved, when we husbands apologize and sincerely tell our wives, “I’m sorry.” Keep your relationship with Charibelle up to date. Try to resolve conflicts in a godly way and don’t forget to pray together after a hurtful time, after you resolved your conflict. Wives would love to see their husbands leading them in prayer.

Fourth, show your love to Charibelle by showing her and telling her that you are loyal to her. Guard your eyes and your mind. Don’t look at other women lustfully. Let her be the only person who satisfies your eyes and mind and heart. Also, try to speak only positive things about her before her family and friends. Keep your promise and vow to her today until death.

There are many other things I could share, but I’d like to turn to Charibelle now (and to all the wives here). How do you show respect to Nexon in a way that is pleasing to God?

First, don’t forget to appreciate his desire to work and to achieve. Husbands feel respected when their wives says thanks to them for going to work every day for their wife and family. When wives cheers their husbands successes, whether in their career or in business or sports, husbands are happy. Ask Nexon what’s his dream and see how you can support his dream.

Second, don’t forget to express your appreciation to Nexon his role as the leader of your marriage and family. Tell him that you are deeply touched by the thought that he’s willing to die for you, as Christ was willing to die, and has really died for His bride, the church. Husbands are happy when they are praised for their commitment to provide and protect for their wives and families.

Third, appreciate his perspectives and insights in life. Don’t try to oppose his point of view right away without trying to understand it. Husbands really feel respected when their wives thank them for the advice and knowledge they share with their wives. Husbands like to fix things in the house and when their wives applaud them of their work and the solution they provided, they feel respected. Husbands are solution-oriented. When you share them your problem, they are thinking right away for the solution. I know wives wanted to be listened to first, but keep your words to the minimum when you’re sharing to your husband. Reserve the longer version of your story to your girl friends. They can bear your long stories more than your husband.

Fourth and finally, husbands feel respect when you appreciate and meet their sexual passions and desire. Wives, if you really want to show your respect to your husband, try to initiate periodically and try to respond more often to your husband’s initiative. And please don’t put to shame your husband when he’s acknowledging to you his sexual temptation. Help him overcome them by praying for him and responding to him more often than you want to.

I know there are many other healthy and practical steps that we could talk about. But before I bore you or make you feel guilty with all these suggestions let me end with this challenge.

You and I know that this ideal in marriage is not easily achieved. Certainly the basic hindrance to the achievement of healthy and strong Christian marriages is our sinfulness, especially our selfishness.

So if you desire to build and experience a strong and healthy marriages and family, you need to ask the grace of God and always come to Jesus Christ. Not just now, but always. Christ alone breaks down barriers and hindrances. He alone reconciles you and me with God so that we become part of God’s people. He alone reconciles us with one another. He alone cleanses us from our sin. He alone gives us the Holy Spirit who produces in us the fruit of love, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness and self-control. Christ alone gives you, Charibelle, the Holy Spirit, who enables you to respect Nexon. And He alone gives you, Nexon, the Holy Spirit, who enables you to truly love Charibelle just as Christ loves the Church.

When both husband and wife faithfully fulfill their responsibilities in marriage according to God’s Word, marriage may not be perfect, yet it would be more enjoyable. It would be more satisfying and God-glorifying! God bless you and your marriage, Nexon and Charibelle, and all the couples who are here today!