A Father’s Day Reminder and Challenge

Fathers are very important in life. Not that mothers are not. But mothers are not the focus of this article. The fathers are. Fathers play a unique and vital role in life. In fact we can trace some of the social and emotional problems in our society due to lack of father figure or due to abuses that fathers perpetrate in the home.

It is said, for example, that adolescent boys are engage in more delinquent behavior if there is no father figure in their lives.1

In his Father Facts, a study on the effects of absentee fathers to their children, Wade F. Horn concluded that the large body of research pertaining to fatherhood reveals that, compared to children raised in two-parent homes, children who grow up without their fathers have significantly worse outcomes, on average, on almost every measure of well being.2

Another study shows that “girls and young women who have an unstable father figure are more liable to unplanned pregnancy, low-self esteem, high school and college drop-out, poverty, divorce and sexually promiscuous behavior.”3

There are exceptions, of course. There are some children who grew up well and fine in single-parent homes or in homes where biological fathers are abusive, absentee or abdicating.

So how important are fathers in our lives? What’s the purpose of their existence in the world? These are the questions I want to address here. I will first explore the biblical responsibilities of the father in the home. Then I will touch a bit on the importance of the role the fathers play in the family and close with a personal reflection.

The Bible tells us of the three-fold duty of fathers. First, fathers are God-ordained leaders of the home. God has called fathers to be His main representative in the home. They have God-given authority to rule and manage the household in God’s stead, in God’s way, and for God’s glory. God’s purpose for the family is to glorify Him by imitating the personal relationships within the Godhead, showing to the world what it means to live harmoniously and in unity in diversity.

In these relationships within the home the father plays a crucial role in seeing to it that everyone does his part and does it willingly and joyfully. Husband-fathers are accountable to God for the well-being of the family. On this ground, order in and success of the family largely depend on the faithfulness of the father in fulfilling his task as the leader. Conversely, disorder and breakdown in the home are mostly due to the neglect or abuse of fathers as leaders.

Second, fathers are providers. Right from the very beginning, man was mandated and equipped by God to work the earth (Gen. 2:15). The entrance of sin did not change man’s task although sin made it harder for him to accomplish his mission. In working the earth man has to till and cultivate the earth in order to receive produce from it. Whatever man receives from nurturing the earth he brings it home to feed and nourish his family.
What this means for the father today is that he is responsible for financial provision of his family. He is the family’s breadwinner, ideally to free his wife up to pursue her vocation in the home as wife and mother. He works in order to meet the needs of the family.

But the father’s duty of providing is not only limited to material needs. He is also to provide spiritual direction and guidance to bring his wife and children to maturity in the faith. Fathers who spend time with his family in reading and studying the word of God and in prayer are doing great service to his family. Fathers who are spiritual leaders in the home are also great leaders in the church and the community. Their children are usually proud of them and are not ashamed to follow their footsteps.

Finally, fathers are protectors of the family. They serve as strength and fortress in the home. The father’s instinct is to secure the well-being of the members of his family by guarding them from intruders. This is part of the father’s calling when God tasked Adam to guard or keep the first garden-home in Eden (Gen. 2:15). Mothers and children feel secure when fathers are equally responsible in this area.

Fathers will especially do well in protecting their family by being willing to lay down even their own lives against any intruder for the sake of their wives and children. No doubt fathers could learn from our Lord Jesus Christ who was willing to give up even his very life to save us and protect His people from the consequence of their sin, which is eternal death. In protecting us, His people, Christ willingly became our substitute taking our place and carried our sins with Him in His vicarious atoning death so that sin and death will no longer be a lethal threat to us.

However, a wise father would also protect his children from their sin and his own sin. We fathers should not be naïve of our and our children’s propensity to sin and foolishness. Being aware of this, we must use our God-given authority and strength to correct our erring children before it’s too late. Remember the sin of Eli who did not restrain his sons from their iniquities. Let us learn then from his unwillingness to discipline his wicked children by lovingly disciplining our children and training them unto righteousness.

Likewise, fathers, protect your family, especially your children from your own sin. Learn self-discipline and self-control. Don’t deceive yourself that your sin has no consequences to your children.

Someone has rightly observed that one unmistakable lesson we learn from reading the Old Testament is that a nation can suffer because of the sin of its leader and that a family can suffer because of the sin of its father.4 Achan, for example, sinned by keeping for himself some of the items plundered from Jericho that God had devoted for his own use. When it was found out that his disobedience was the reason for Israel’s crushing defeat, it was not only Achan who suffered the consequences (Joshua 7). God punished all Israel for a time through the disgraceful rout at the battle of Ai leaving Israel’s army with thirty-six dead soldiers. God has impressed upon Israel’s heart the truth that one man’s sin has terrible effects upon his household. Eventually not only Achan but also his whole family were put to death because of his sin as the head of his household.

So fathers, let us protect our family by running away from sin, by putting it to death, and by pursuing holiness in humble obedience to God by His Spirit. Author and blogger Tim Challies has a very helpful thought in this area. He said, “Sometimes the greatest gift you [fathers] can give your family is a silent, hidden decision to refrain from pursuing sin.”5

So how important are fathers in the lives of their children? In speaking of his fellow writer, George MacDonald, C. S. Lewis said, “An almost perfect relationship with his father was the earthly root of all his wisdom. From his own father, he said, he first learned that Fatherhood must be at the core of the universe.”

Fathers are powerful instruments in God's hand in bringing up upright and law-abiding children. They are God-sent tools in building godly families, strong churches, and peaceful and orderly communities and nations. That’s how important fathers are in the economy of God.

As a father who knows my role and my responsibilities I am very aware of my many shortcomings. Yet I do not give up pursuing this noble calling of fatherhood. I am not discouraged by my many weaknesses in seeking to carry out these God-given responsibilities for I know that God, our heavenly Father, by His Holy Spirit equips me to persevere in keeping these duties. In spite of my many failures, I thank God for sparing me many sorrows as a father by giving me a godly wife and four wonderful and God-fearing children. It is my prayer that as our children grow I will also grow in my obedience to God’s holy calling as a father – to be a Christ-imitating leader, a faithful provider and a firm protector of my family and children.

Endnotes

1 Freakonomics, “How an Absent Father Affects Boys and Girls Differently,” The Freakonomics Blog, October 19, 2011, accessed May 24, 2014, http://freakonomics.com/2011/10/19/fathers-and-delinquency-in-the-american-family/.

2 Jennifer Flood Eastin, “Impact of Absent Father-Figures on Male Subjects and the Correlation to Juvenile Delinquency: Findings and Implications,” (PhD diss., University of North Texas, 2003) 4-5. Available at http://digital.library.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metadc4332/m2/1/high_res_d/dissertation.pdf.

3 Lisa Mancini, “Father’s Absence and Its Effects on Daughters,” (Thesis, 2010) 3. Available at http://library.wcsu.edu/dspace/bitstream/0/527/1/Final+Thesis.pdf.

4 Tim Challies, “Leadership in the Home – A Godly Man Protects,” Informing the Reforming Blog, December 3, 2009, accessed May 24, 2014, http://www.challies.com/christian-living/leadership-in-the-home-a-godly-man-protects.

5 Tim Challies, “Leadership in the Home – A Godly Man Protects.”

Some Year-end Reflections

As I reflect upon my life and experiences in 2013 I realize how slow my growth in holiness and obedience to the Lord has been. It’s been humiliating as the Lord painfully exposes the ungodly desires of my sinful heart. I have been secretly seeking the approval of people and inwardly seething with resentment some criticisms and corrections I received from people who love me. My mind keeps on falling into ‘the error of taking material prosperity as the ultimate mark of God’s blessing’ rather than ‘poverty of spirit, mourning for sin, and persecution for righteousness sake.’ I’m easily forgetting that ‘the only thing that matters is what God thinks’ and that true spirituality ‘is not seen in gathering wealth but in being delivered from loving it – whether we have it or do not have it.’ Greed, lust, hypocrisy, anxiety, and many other sins continue to hound me.

I can feel the indictment of the Lord telling me, “O you of little faith!” But thanks be to God! Although I have some setbacks and grieve for my slow growth in godliness I do not doubt the grace of God in Christ for such a sinner as me. And by the power of His Spirit I trust Him to enable me to rely upon His faithful provision for life and godliness and to seek His kingdom and righteousness first this year and the years to come. "My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever" (Psalm 73:26).

Hope Focused on Christ and His Return

(A short meditation on 1 John 3:3)

“And everyone who thus hopes in him purifies himself as he is pure" (1 John 3:3 ESV).

I’ve heard it said that your eschatology, that is, your doctrine of future things, determines your present conduct. What that means, I suppose, is that your view of the future shapes and forms your behavior and lifestyle now. So if you think that there’s no life after death, you wouldn’t care what kind of life you have now. It doesn’t matter anyway.

But if you believe that there is really life after death, and there is a God who will judge you according to your works, whether good or evil, then you would surely be careful and watchful with the way you live now. So how does your view of the future affect your life?

You see, some people are fascinated to study future things. They are interested to learn about the second coming of Christ, millennium, rapture, final judgment, etc. But for some reason their knowledge of these things doesn't move them to right action or holy living. Others avoid the study of them altogether because of fear or the perception that they are difficult to understand. Besides, some would say, they are not really important. So why bother yourself?

I don’t know if you can identify with these sentiments. But if you don’t seem to see the connection between your belief of the future and the quality of your present conduct, you really do not have the kind of hope that motivates believers to live godly lives.

Here in 1 John 3 we can learn that our hope of Christ’s appearing motivates us to live pure and holy lives. In many ways the conscious anticipation of Christ’s second coming drives us to holy living and faithful service. And 1 John 3:3 tells us that as children of our heavenly Father, forgiven and accepted in His Son, we must focus on the purity of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and the promise of His return.

As children of God, our hope is not in circumstances or in some optimistic wish for a better tomorrow. Our hope is in the person of Jesus Christ and in His promised return to take us home. He said that He was returning to heaven to prepare a place for us (John 14:2). Then He added these wonderful words of hope, “If I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself, that where I am, there you may be also” (John14:3).

He’s coming back for us, and when that happens, we will go to be with Him in the place that He has prepared for us! Shouldn't all of our hope be fixed on Him then?

The holiness of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ is a frequent theme in 1 John. In 1:5, John tells us that, “God is light, and in Him there is no darkness at all.” In 2:1, he refers to Jesus as “the righteous.” In 2:20, he refers to Christ as “the Holy One.” In 2:29, he again affirms that “He is righteous.” In 1 John 3:3 he says, “He is pure.” This word 'pure' originally referred to ceremonial purity, but it came to mean that which is “pure in the highest sense.” It refers to freedom from all defilement of sin, especially moral sin. So this purity refers to our sanctification.

Clearly, that glorious future day when we see Jesus face to face, that vision transforms us. John says, “And everyone who has this hope fixed on Him purifies himself.” The Biblical view on sanctification is that, on the one hand, God has predestined us to be conformed to the image of His Son (Rom 8:29). In that sense, it’s a done deal and clearly, God does it.

Yet on the other hand, God says that we must purify ourselves as we focus our hope in our pure and holy Lord. The Apostle Paul writes the same thing: “Since we have these promises, dear friends, let us purify ourselves from everything that contaminates body and spirit, perfecting holiness out of reverence for God” (2 Cor. 7:1).

You and I must actively pursue purity and holiness in the light of the appearing or return of the Lord. To actively confess the coming of Christ means to avoid any activity that distracts us from serving Him faithfully and living for His glory. For “everyone who has this hope fixed on him PURIFIES HIMSELF, just as he is pure” (emphasis mine).

So here we see that there is a definite sense in which we must be active in the process of sanctification in the light of Christ's second coming. The other side, however, is that only the blood of Christ can cleanse us (1 John 1:7, 9). We are cleansed through the washing of water with the Word (Eph. 5:26). So God’s Word and His Holy Spirit are like the soap and water. But we’ve got to apply it to the dirt of our sin.

The Word is also like a mirror, revealing to us the dirt on our faces. When it does that, rather than ignoring it, we must confess our sins to the Lord, appropriate by faith His shed blood as our source of cleansing, and take the necessary steps to avoid that sin in the future. That's part of purifying ourselves.

To summarize our point, if you are clear in your thinking who Jesus is and what pleases Him, you wouldn’t be doing something that would offend Him, would you? Rather you would seek to do what is right and pleasing in His sight. So by the power of the Holy Spirit keep on cleaning the dirt out of your life.

Begin with your mind. Resist every thought that is contrary to the Word of God. But dwell on thoughts that exalt your Sovereign Lord. Then keep on putting off your old self and its desires – sexual immorality, evil desire, greed, slander, lie, wrath, malice, unwholesome talk, etc. Likewise continue putting on your new self in Christ, even holiness, compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, patience, self-control, and all the virtues becoming as a child of God. If you do these things, you know that you're fixing your hope in the Lord and in His coming. And truly that vision purifies you even now.