As I reflect upon my life and experiences in 2013 I realize how slow my growth in holiness and obedience to the Lord has been. It’s been humiliating as the Lord painfully exposes the ungodly desires of my sinful heart. I have been secretly seeking the approval of people and inwardly seething with resentment some criticisms and corrections I received from people who love me. My mind keeps on falling into ‘the error of taking material prosperity as the ultimate mark of God’s blessing’ rather than ‘poverty of spirit, mourning for sin, and persecution for righteousness sake.’ I’m easily forgetting that ‘the only thing that matters is what God thinks’ and that true spirituality ‘is not seen in gathering wealth but in being delivered from loving it – whether we have it or do not have it.’ Greed, lust, hypocrisy, anxiety, and many other sins continue to hound me.
I can feel the indictment of the Lord telling me, “O you of little faith!” But thanks be to God! Although I have some setbacks and grieve for my slow growth in godliness I do not doubt the grace of God in Christ for such a sinner as me. And by the power of His Spirit I trust Him to enable me to rely upon His faithful provision for life and godliness and to seek His kingdom and righteousness first this year and the years to come. "My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever" (Psalm 73:26).
